Melanie C: It's depressing to talk about my mental health

Melanie C finds it “depressing” to be asked about her mental health struggles “all day long”.

The Spice Girls star was diagnosed with depression more than 20 years ago, and whilst she has been open about her struggle, she admitted she can find it exhausting to be constantly asked to relive her trauma to those who ask her questions about her past.

She said: “You know what, I feel emotional when I talk about this in the right space. I was diagnosed with depression in 2000, and I was suffering with that, but I was also battling an eating disorder and I had been for a couple of years. 

“When I talked about it for the first time I don't think I was ready, actually. I felt like I was in a time in my life as a Spice Girl where my life wasn't truly my own. I felt like I had this duty to reveal everything about myself, and I feel like I was too vulnerable, and I was still trying to find my way through that. 

“Then I spent many years regretting that I'd spoken so soon, because people always want to talk about it, which is good, and it's important, but I hadn't done the work. You can be sitting for hours on end speaking to numerous interviewers, and to talk about these struggles all day long it's f****** depressing. You know, it's hard.”

Melanie, 46, also admitted she felt “ashamed” of her mental health struggle for a while, and didn’t realize the benefits of talking about her battle until people told her how much of a positive impact her story had on their own lives.

She explained: “Because of the problems I had my appearance changed, I put on weight. I didn't look great, I was unwell, and I was so embarrassed because everything I was going through. I was ashamed. I was ashamed because the control was gone. I'd lost my self control, so I had to tell everybody. I had to make my excuses. 

“As time went on and I realized that people had actually benefited positively from me being open and honest I started to feel good about it, and I started to get stronger, and I started to heal. 

“You know what, depression never goes away. It's always in the wings. It's always there. It can creep in sometimes, but now I've got the tools, and I don't want to be arrogant enough to think it's never going to get me. It's complicated, and I'm so happy to see we do talk about it more openly.”

And now, Melanie wants to do more to help “take away the shame” associated with mental health struggles.

Speaking to Zane Lowe on Essentials Radio for Apple Music 1, she added: “I want to take away the shame, I want to take away the stigma because we're humans. At the end of the day, wherever you come from, whatever background you have, whatever your likes and dislikes and beliefs are, we are human beings. We all want, and we all need, and we all deserve the same things. We all deserve to be happy. We all deserve to be loved and to love. That's it. That's the be all and end all. There are so many things that keep us apart. These are the things that need to keep us together.”